Fresh air.
Clean water.
Loving people in our lives.
A roof over our heads.
A place to call home.
Nature within reach.
Laughter.
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I hide because I am afraid.
I am afraid because I don’t want to be seen.
I don’t want to be seen because people might judge me.
I perceive that people might judge me because I judge me.
I judge me because I made mistakes and failed.
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I see you.
I see the real you.
I see the original full and beautiful you.
Your image and persona presents itself to me before I hear or really know you.
Many years ago I participated in a self development program that involved frequent meditation. One of the sessions included an exercise referred to as the “Eulogy Visualisation” or something to that effect. I have since learned that there are many variations of the exercise. What I liked about the one we did was that it was facilitated with depth and respect. We as a group were also held in a space that was supportive, loving, sharing, and accepting. In other words it was absolutely safe and appropriate for our group’s purpose.
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At my local harbourside pool for a swim I saw a man commit an act of disrespect to the environment. Innocent, naïve and unaware I am sure he did not even realise his infraction.
As I waited at the reception window to return my locker key he walked past me. He walked purposely but slowly, dressed in grey suit pants, a striped business shirt, coifed in silver streaked hair neatly combed following his swim.
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In today’s world of lounge experts and armchair critics we don’t stand a chance. Well that is if you listen to what ‘they’ say. ‘They’ are the people lining up to pull you down, jump at you, criticise, attack, complain. ‘They’ are the people who are on the attack at all times, armed with words and spite to hurt and harm. It is a woeful world this one of hate and meanness.
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I get like this sometimes. Going along all fine and then boom I wake up and realise I am stuck. How did that happen? When did I let myself switch back to autopilot and put the brakes on. Seriously that is how it feels.
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I sit here in the hair salon with my laptop, coffee, water, phone. It’s my bimonthly colour and cut day. Time out of the week to self care from the outside in. Yet for me it works on the inside out too.
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I genuinely believe every day is an opportunity for a new start. Whatever I did yesterday I get to do differently today. Mistakes made can be learned from. Moments of joy can be carried forward and celebrated. The common denominator is me. My decision to focus on today not yesterday.
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