Decisions. What is your approach? Usually we are taught to make decisions based on what is presented to us. Many processes, methodologies and techniques abound. Irrespective of approach we choose, we rely a lot on others for both input and sources of information.
A decision can be easy for some and not for others. What may seem like a simple choice can for others be a representation of layers of internal dilemmas. Confusion or distraction may delay us. Time pressures may force us too quickly.
I get like this sometimes. Going along all fine and then boom I wake up and realise I am stuck. How did that happen? When did I let myself switch back to autopilot and put the brakes on. Seriously that is how it feels.
Read MoreToday is RUOK day. If you don’t know what this means then say the letters out loud. It is a simple question not asked often enough. The fact that there is a day dedicated to this reminder says a lot. Our society is in such a state that we forget to ask the simplest of questions “Are you ok?” and mean it. Of course the key message is to not just ask this question on one day but all throughout the year whenever you feel it seems appropriate.
For me it is more about being sincere and authentic when you ask how someone is doing. It is such a common greeting that we often don’t listen for the response. How often do you meet someone and ask without really thinking about the person’s day. It is likely that you share the words as part of a conversation but not the feeling inside of really wanting to know. We have someone where to go, thoughts on our mind, our our own worries and concerns or the task at hand as distraction.
When we ask someone how he/she is doing many secretly don’t want to know. Many of us don’t want to go into a conversation that isn’t upbeat, superficial and trivial. Many of us are too afraid to hold a real conversation and truly listen to another person.
© Jenn ShallveyI love the adage ‘good things take time’.
But then how is it that in today’s society of interconnectedness, being on rather than off, we have a bad case of impatience.
How do you know you have a waiting problem? 
Photo © Jenn Shallvey
In the virtual world, you know you have an impatience problem when:
Or what about in the physical world, where impatience means you can't stand it when you:
These may seem like silly examples and on a blog post nothing more than everyday problems. Yet in reality take one of these situations, add a few more, a little dose of stress or pressure and you have the formula for a personal disaster.
By personal disaster I mean letting it get to you and doing the opposite of what you need to do.
In response to such situations the best remedy is patience, calmness and centeredness. Easier said than done. Yet if our senses are heightened we can be triggered into the impatience and ensuing emotional responses.
I had one whole day to myself on my ‘me retreat’. I had nowhere to go, no plans, no appointments, no structured activities, no time to be anywhere, no driving to get there, no driving back home. I created a space within time to be what I described as free.
So where did I choose to go? The beach of course! My whole being comes alive anywhere near the ocean and beach. I don’t have to get in the water, just be within sight, sound and smell and I am instantly in heaven on Earth.
Having attended a few retreats, I always find group dining a key part of the experience. Such moments provide an opportunity to integrate and process experiences as well as connect and meet others under the guise of sharing a meal.
But on a ‘me retreat’ there is no other, unless you consider the voices in your head companions. When by yourself it is easy to minimize the importance of the meal. Yet for me I still find dining by myself an opportunity for reflection. Instead of connecting with others the meal is a time to stop, nurture the self and receive. It is in this type of space where I find self dialogue rich, thoughts expansive and feelings of contentment abound. Well then such outcomes do depend on the dining experience too.
I love to drive. Road trips are a way for me to satisfy this urge. Behind the wheel, favorite music playing and sat nav to tell me where to go, equals a strange form of relaxation. Then I meet traffic and the ever increasing presence of competitive drivers (of course I am not included in this group).
First there are the ones that have to pass by even though I am doing the speed limit. Signs posted everywhere warn about mobile speed cameras. Don't they get it? Inevitably the great equalizer called stoplights and school zones and the occasional camera zone bring in some fairness.
I don't have to get anywhere soon.
I have no self imposed time limit to which I am beholden.
No, time is on my side for a change!
As soon as my client left I was rushing upstairs to get my bags packed. Being the last minute girl that I am, I still had this task unfinished. What to take and not take! I couldn't believe I had such a dilemma when I was only going away two nights! I thought of my travelling friends who managed to go around the world with one small suitcase. Yet whether a month to the States or a quick night away I always want to be prepared for anything, well at least as far as my luggage goes.
This time though was to be different. I promised to myself no computer, not even my iPad. This meant the only device allowed was a phone. How tempting it was to sneak the iPad in. Willpower prevailed though I did leave a note to my son to look after my WeRule farms while I was away.
(Note...old photo, not my car, just playing around with some dreaming. This photo though captures the feeling I had on my departure so include it.)
Do you fantasize about escaping from your life? Do you sometimes say “I have had enough! I just need to get away and have a break?” Well do you? If you do how often do you actually follow through on your frustrated inspiration?
Well I do sometimes. However to assuage my guilt I usually have a purpose. To go away I have always attached some sort of reason. The most common purpose is to attend a seminar or workshop. This learning aspect serves 1) to justify the escape to all in my family and 2) to give me permission to get away.
A close inspection of my diary over the past several years reveals the real truth. I am a learning junkie. Ok, more than that. I am a retreat junkie. I have to get my fix or I will go crazy. Well not literally crazy, but certainly borderline difficult to be around or live with. Hence why my family likely understands and reluctantly sends me off on my little jaunts.
