Posts in Self awareness
In good time

I love the adage ‘good things take time’.

But then how is it that in today’s society of interconnectedness, being on rather than off, we have a bad case of impatience. 

How do you know you have a waiting problem? 

Photo © Jenn Shallvey

In the virtual world, you know you have an impatience problem when:

  • you think your computer takes to long to turn on and load,
  • you call a person and you think answer after three rings or voicemail is slow,
  • you send an email and don’t get an immediate response.

Or what about in the physical world, where impatience means you can't stand it when you:

  • have to ‘take a number’ to be served,
  • wait behind a line of other people to get something you want now,
  • get stuck in traffic and miss the light, 
  • arrive late to work because the bus schedule wasn't accurate.    

These may seem like silly examples and on a blog post nothing more than everyday problems. Yet in reality take one of these situations, add a few more, a little dose of stress or pressure and you have the formula for a personal disaster.

By personal disaster I mean letting it get to you and doing the opposite of what you need to do. 

In response to such situations the best remedy is patience, calmness and centeredness. Easier said than done.  Yet if our senses are heightened we can be triggered into the impatience and ensuing emotional responses.

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Self awareness, Self care, WellbeingJenn Shallvey
In the firing line of life

I have a tendency to go with the flow, explore and see what life brings to me.  I used to be an over achiever. Now I might even be described as an under achiever and perhaps a bit more of an over be-er. What I mean by this is that despite all the well laid plans, strategies and structured decisions, life throws curve balls. Actually life doesn’t just throw curve balls, life shoots tennis balls out of an automatic machine until you surrender.

You know that experience, just when you had everything figured out then something happened. Well this is what I am talking about.  It is that feeling that you think (key operative word here) you know (another key operative word here), then you realize that you don’t really know.  In this context I am talking about over thinking, over analyzing, over doing a point to exhaustion - your own exhaustion.

Photo © Jenn Shallvey

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Authenticity, Learning, Self awarenessJenn Shallvey
Watching the waves

I had one whole day to myself on my ‘me retreat’. I had nowhere to go, no plans, no appointments, no structured activities, no time to be anywhere, no driving to get there, no driving back home.  I created a space within time to be what I described as free.  

So where did I choose to go?  The beach of course!  My whole being comes alive anywhere near the ocean and beach. I don’t have to get in the water, just be within sight, sound and smell and I am instantly in heaven on Earth.

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Personal journey, Self awareness, Self careJenn Shallvey
Driving to the 'me retreat'

I love to drive. Road trips are a way for me to satisfy this urge. Behind the wheel, favorite music playing and sat nav to tell me where to go, equals a strange form of relaxation. Then I meet traffic and the ever increasing presence of competitive drivers (of course I am not included in this group).

First there are the ones that have to pass by even though I am doing the speed limit. Signs posted everywhere warn about mobile speed cameras. Don't they get it? Inevitably the great equalizer called stoplights and school zones and the occasional camera zone bring in some fairness.

I don't have to get anywhere soon.

I have no self imposed time limit to which I am beholden.

No, time is on my side for a change!

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Personal journey, Self awareness, Self careJenn Shallvey
Departure

As soon as my client left I was rushing upstairs to get my bags packed. Being the last minute girl that I am, I still had this task unfinished. What to take and not take! I couldn't believe I had such a dilemma when I was only going away two nights! I thought of my travelling friends who managed to go around the world with one small suitcase.  Yet whether a month to the States or a quick night away I always want to be prepared for anything, well at least as far as my luggage goes.

This time though was to be different. I promised to myself no computer, not even my iPad. This meant the only device allowed was a phone. How tempting it was to sneak the iPad in. Willpower prevailed though I did leave a note to my son to look after my WeRule farms while I was away.

(Note...old photo, not my car, just playing around with some dreaming.  This photo though captures the feeling I had on my departure so include it.)

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Personal journey, Self awareness, Self careJenn Shallvey
Is your life all a do-over fantasy?

A thought came to me the other day as I sat watching a friend nurse her six week old baby.  What would life be like if, at any time we wanted, we could press a button and restart? That’s it. Like a computer game that is clearly going nowhere, we could just go back to the beginning and start again.  I started wondering first of all if I had this option how far back would I go. Then I also thought would I even do it if I could?

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Being Real, Personal journey, Self awarenessJenn Shallvey
Being in your funk so you can get out of it

Do you ever just have one of those days?  You know, the ones where you can’t seem to get out of your funk.  I say funk because I can think of no other word that encapsulates the feelings of apathy, frustration, anger, boredom, sadness, distraction, impatience, woe.  Well there are more I am sure, but I am not here to be a Thesaurus. What I am here to be is real.

So I decided that I would post when in a funk. Risky you might say. Some would say this will come back to bite me. Others may say don’t share your funk with me, it might be catching.  You are right.  On one level if I focus too much on my funk then I stay in it. On another level if I hang with you and let this foul smelling energy waft your way you will eventually feel it to. It is not my wish to stay in nor to share it.

IMG_0930Instead I want to highlight a few points that may help you:

A: feel OK when you happen to fall into one yourself, and

B: are around a person you care about who also is in one.

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Life balance, Personal journey, Self awareness, Self care, WellbeingJenn Shallvey
It’s your dream so why would you let someone else squash it

DSC_0631
We all have dreams. Big dreams and little dreams of a life where what we wish to achieve actually happens for real.  You might call this setting goals. I don’t.  Dreams to me are what come from the gut, the essence of who we are inside.  We have a yearning, almost an insatiable desire to satisfy such dreams.
I recently traveled to California to attend the San Francisco Writers Conference where dreams were on tap.  Every conversation opened with the phrase – “So what are you writing a book about?”  The answer would either be a laugh, a serious statement or a practice of a pitch carefully crafted after attending one of the many sessions on this topic.

 
Yet underneath the words of each person, I sensed the heart of a writer, felt the energy of storytellers and saw the longing of expression in the eyes.   These people were on a mission to calm the voice inside needing to be expressed.

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Learning, Self awareness, WritingJenn Shallvey
Finding myself in wonderland

I sit here as always searching for the answers to the age old question “Who am I?”  Where do I seek?  Not where you would think I would find me, that is here, where I am. No I sometimes seek myself outside of me.  What a strange illogical concept and act.  Yet here is how I do it.

"Just a quick look", she says...DSCN2387_2

It starts innocently. You know, an email pops into my inbox. Next thing I am reading and come across a link. The link seems to be a worthwhile place to visit. Since it only takes a click of my mouse, well then why not?  What harm is there in a quick look.  So off I go to another new place in the depths of the internet.  All the while I am sitting comfortably at my desk, mindful that I am still here.I get to a website and immediately see the professionalism, style, intriguing and inviting graphics.  Links and tabs call me to go further. The words seem to jump out of the screen and surround me with intoxicating trance-like messages. Slowly I begin to lose a sense of me and feel more of a sense of we.

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Personal journey, Reflections, Self awarenessJenn Shallvey