Shifting your energy

© Jenn Shallvey

In this post I share with you a message of encouragement. I choose to do this because so much in our world can be draining, destabilizing and frustrating. You can use any word you want to describe the gamut of human emotion that flows through us and takes us down, backwards into places that are not supportive of ourselves nor anyone else. 

I'm not alone in saying this. We all experience these emotions at times. I know that. It is so important to find a way to pull ourselves out of these places rather than feed the spiraling down.

We have many resources available. The most important resource to develop, the one that is the most important in your whole entire world, is you. You are your best resource. I know that for some of you this may feel a bit daunting. Yet let's stop for a moment and look at the fact that the one who knows you the most and the best is you. You also know what is best for you. You know what is self soothing, your own balm of calmness. You know the path that you need to take in order to right yourself in this world. We all know. Sometimes there are distractions from others, very well-meaning people, especially ones that we love, that take us in other directions than what our own intuition tells us is right for our self. An important point here is that the voice that you listen to the most is yours.

What is also important, and this is where it may sound contradictory, is that we invite, welcome and engage the voices of others. That is what a community of existence looks like. We are not alone. Yet we are still individuals within our communities. The person that first knows what is right for us is our self. Yet there are many who can see us in ways that we do not see our self. The welcoming of their insights, experience, wisdom, know how and views may be an enhancement to your process of discerning what is right for you.

This is not a selfish path to take. It is simply one that says, look after you, make sure you are okay, do the best that you can in being you first. Then when you stumble, or fall even, call upon others for the help that you may need. It is okay to ask for help. There are times when we are learning, adjusting, growing. Just like our human body as a child had growing pains so do we, as adults in our psychological wellbeing, in our spiritual growth, in our personal development. We have similar growing pains. They are just not physical. Well, sometimes they might seem physical. And as we go through those experiences of shift and adjustment, it is helpful to have others around us who understand, who accept and support unconditionally without expectation.

One of the greatest gifts then that you can also give others is acceptance and support of others, where they are at. In many situations, we compare ourselves to others and others do the same to us. An unfortunate result of comparison is then inevitably judgement. One will always be perceived or seen as better than the other. When you are looking through your own lens at others and see them as better you are placing yourself down, you are demoting your importance and your self. When you see others as not as good as you then you are promoting yourself in a prideful and arrogant way that you are better than others. Neither is true. You are not better nor worse than another, and they are not better nor worse than you. The interpretation placement of judgement through our own perception and belief systems creates the divide, creates the difference that we judge others by.

What if we first made sure we were okay, and we came from that place within our self, to say things like: 

• I'm actually okay. 

• I'm comfortable with who I am. 

• I'm okay with mistakes that I've made because I'm learning and this is life.

• I'm okay with the future, for who knows what it will bring. 

• I'm okay with the past, because it has taken me to where I am now and I am a wiser human being because of that. 

What if we come from that place? Then we do not compare to another. We simply meet another and think and consider where they are in their life journey. If we could we would wonder what they have experienced so far, where they are right now, learn how they are celebrating achievements as well as what is frustrating.

As we do that type of inquiry, rather than the comparison one, we begin to form supportive alliances and relationships with others, simply as fellow travelers in life, rather than judge and jury. It is not easy because we are forever conditioned and socialised through so many resources that come to us so easily to think we are better or worse than others. It is a constant divide. 

Therefore, the challenge really is to stand strong with inner fortitude and resilience in being true to yourself. That is the journey, isn't it. Likewise, it is your opportunity to be a courageous fellow traveler with others, accepting where they are at in their journey, for seeing them with unconditional love for seeing them as they are through the steps and the paths they have taken.

Now, all of this sounds vague, indirect, hard to grasp because it is a philosophical perspective for you to ponder and contemplate. Adjust to your reality and in your day to day life and do a little experimenting. Go about your day, and for each thought, wonder why is that coming into your mind. Is it a thought that supports you or a thought that does not support you? Where a thought does not support you what can you do to observe, possibly change and think of something different? If not, then understand why that thought is coming to you. Consider where it came from. Is it yours? Or did you inherit and develop this thought from other influences? It is not that easy to just wipe the slate clean.  We have to understand first. Then from that understanding place go, 'Oh, that's what's happening'. Then decide, consciously decide, if you want to change this.

Then as you go through your day, watch and observe, in as an objective way as possible, your interactions with others. What happens each time you see, hear, read or meet with another person? You could be watching something on the TV. What happens? Do you judge that person right away? Do you make a decision about who they are based on their appearance? What happens when you are out driving your car and you see something happen? Have you jumped to a conclusion about the scenario? How often are you in conversations where you are gossiping about somebody without really knowing the full story?

We all do this. This is not unusual. It is part of our human way sometimes. Isn't it? Therefore, just to be aware of it means that it's possible to change it. And why would you want to change it? You can have positive regard for others and others have positive regard for you. It would make getting along with each other a lot easier. 

If our first filter is the negative, if our first filter is what is wrong, then we are forever dragging ourselves down and then therefore dragging everybody else down with us. In your day when you feel this need to express such judgement or observation of others in such a negative way, ask yourself why. What is it that you are angry about? What is it that you are frustrated about, that you are now seeing through the eyes of those people and see if you can undo that, see if you can catch that and shift that energy.

If you then notice that certain things trigger you, what is it about those triggers? Are they triggers that you need to work on? Are they triggers that you need help from somebody else to manage? And it may not always be the case, but when we actually notice and pay attention, we diffuse, we diffuse the energy that is subconsciously rising up within us.

This insight, this sharing is meant to simply help you, help you to be clearer about who you are around others, to be a person amongst your community who helps and supports others just by being who you are as an example, as a person showing one way that is possible. You, as an individual are uniquely placed to be of service, to all around you, just by being you. It is that simple.

When we shift from the judgement into acceptance, when we move away from the seeing what is always wrong about somebody into understanding why they may be doing what they do, and then looking for a way forward we are helping shift that energy too.

So take this as an idea, an insight, some sharing and ponder, wonder, contemplate, consider what it means for you. Consider how you may travel differently in your world today, tomorrow, next week, and so on. Take a little bit of time to wonder if you shift that point of focus just a little bit more and see where it takes you. See what you can do through you being you.

Lastly, as you begin to shift this energy and you begin to see the ease of it, the fun of it, celebrate and spread that energy. The more you can step into this place of acceptance, the more you will help bring joy into your life and to that of others, even when the world has so many things challenging us. Somehow you'll find that moment or that spark of light in your self that can be shared with others.