The flow and pace of reflection

© Jenn Shallvey

Sometimes I just do not know where to start. I sit in front of the blank screen. Ideas and thoughts flow and pass by. Inspiration for me. Inspiration for others. Yet I struggle to stop and pick one. To claim and idea or thought and play with it, explore.

I reflected on this experience and noticed that over the year it resulted in zero, yes a big nought, in the blog post writing department. That is a first for me.

Oh there is writing. Lots of it. Yet it is private and for my eyes only.  Maybe my family when I am gone might see that. Still not sure if I will give them the password. Either way it is not an absence of reflection. Far from it. Perhaps too much reflection. An overdose of contemplation.

Then I reflected more. Yes. Passionate about this process a little. What if the non action was the sorting out of me behind the scenes? Maybe something in me, a higher part of me, knows better. Oh that works for me. So I explored this idea more.

There are two analogies that I can share that will help you to understand. One is the duck peacefully gliding across the pond but it’s feet are paddling madly underneath the water. Only the duck is aware of this hidden frenzy of activity. Actually it may even be so natural and innate that the duck is not aware of it. That is me and the formulation of ideas, concepts and inspiration.

Somewhere underneath my conscious awareness there is a party happening. Lots getting sorted. I keep the party going with lots of conscious observation, self development, conversations, noticing, experiencing. As I process the day to day happenings of life something gets transferred into this subconscious repository of possibilities.

Then there is the analogy of the iceberg. I won’t go into detail on that one because it is so common as well. If you have been to any corporate training session in your lifetime I am sure you have enjoyed the image of the ‘iceberg’. The point being that you only see a small portion of the iceberg above the surface, most is below.  The analogy in training can fit most concepts so no need to take you into them here. For my reflection though I relate to the concept that 90% of me, you and most of us in the world is not seen. You get the curated, selected, chosen bits.  People close to us get a bit more. And people really close to us probably get to see some of the iceberg that we don’t even see. Or are there when a chunk falls off. Whoops.

There is nothing bad nor good in either of these analogies until you add the layer of judgment. As soon as you look at the situation and say this is not good, or it could be better, then you diminish the natural process of a person unfolding and being who they are in the world.  Some of us take more time than others. Some of us are more private than others. There is no perfect formula.

Why is this worth sharing? Well I talk a lot about being authentic. Authentic is not necessarily a public process. It is also a private one. Before you even consider whether you are being authentic with others you need to look at yourself. How authentic are you being with you?

That is a huge question. Confronting and challenging. Why? Because you can not hide from yourself. You can try but you will catch yourself at some point.  Instead you need to say am I being true to myself? Hmm. That’s a big question too.

Big questions do not have to be overwhelming. When you are not ready for a big one then you take it down a notch or few into some context. Rather than asking self am I being true to myself in all and everything choose one scenario or situation.

A common context is work and whether you want to keep doing the job you are doing.  In the context of career, changing roles or organisations etc it is a big question. But what if you just pick a task or project you do in your job. Ask yourself in that context are you being true to yourself? It might mean that you notice you are not speaking up in meetings about situations you are noticing that you feel are important. It might mean that you are avoiding certain colleagues or alternatively would like time learning from others. Maybe it is a degree of motivation and you need to tweak the hours or structure to fit in some exercise time each day. Whatever it is there is a part of you that in a narrow context can be expressed.

It is then the cumulative ‘practice’ and ‘experience’ of expressing your ‘self’ in ways that are true to you that add up. Eventually you are more in sync with you than not so that when you face bigger questions they are easier to answer.

Of course you will notice that this is not a quick fix type of exploration. It is one where time is needed and permitted. I say permitted because rarely do we give ourselves the permission.

Also it is not always a ‘navel-gazing’ exercise. Often insights and awareness bubble to the surface as we are simply going about life. You have to balance between both. A bit of purposeful reflection and sitting with an idea or question and a bit of distraction occupying your time and then noticing what pops up.  You could be in a deep and meaningful conversation on a topic with a close friend. Or you could be gardening and listening to music. You are allowing at different paces.

No matter what the balance is between your private and public self the reflection of where you are at is always beneficial.  I invite you to take a little time out for you and discover what is ready to be seen, acknowledged and expressed. Then see what bubbles up to the surface for you to explore.