Celebrating life day

© Jenn Shallvey

A reflection that you may wish to do yourself.

The calendar in our house has been pretty empty of late. With restrictions on travel, events and so forth it does not have much planned. Lots of empty spaces.  The one thing that marks the year are birthdays.  There are three months of the year when we tend to celebrate more than others. July is one and it includes me.

I am not one to make a big deal of my birthday. Yet over the years my perspective on celebrating the day has changed. This year it really stood out. My celebration was a solitary one. No family member with me for the first time. Not by choice but circumstances. It felt surreal, strange just me and the cats.

It did not bother me. Not at all.  As I have grown older, and wiser, I am less concerned about the celebration. I have never been a big group event person. More the small intimate dinner type. I am more inclined to use the milestone of passing the sun one more time as an excuse to do something different.  Past milestones were big trips overseas instead of lavish parties. Just the way I like things. 

Well this year was not a milestone and there was no trip anywhere.  The only trip was a visit online to a favourite place for a special online delivery. Then dinner for one.

Still I did sit and reflect.  I sat down and did a bit of a life review, check in of sorts. I tend to do this as a way of celebrating but also considering what to do the rest of life with the illusion that I can actually plan, ha ha.  

I reflected also on the significance which is not about ego but about acknowledgement and self esteem. To sit and look at your life in review it is easy to say ‘oh I did not do this’ or ‘I missed out on this’. It is easy to do the glass half empty take. So I made an effort to do the glass half full. Again not with any hubris, simply being grateful.

A phrase that sits with me every day as a reminder (and posted in the shower) is the one “The world is lucky to have you in it”. I confess that somedays I look at that sign and think not today. When that happens I need to do some work and sit with why and do the work to shift the energy.  The best days are the ones when I look at that sign and practically jump out of my skin, sing and dance.  It is a litmus test check in point. 

So in this context I forced myself to consider why the world is lucky to have me in it.  I won’t list what I came up with here. Feel free to ask me personally if you want to know. Some of what I identified is still in what I call the ‘potential’ category. By this I mean I know it but I don’t do it. Or in other words there are things about me that still can make a difference.

Then I went deeper and reflected on birth days in general.  Irrespective of your spiritual beliefs it is pretty amazing to be born at all. It is amazing to come into the world with the gift of a life. Yes some may get experiences that are testing and others seemingly not. Some make the most of their time here and others appear to miss out. 

I then took myself to a reflection on the classic story arc about a person getting a magical chance to redo their life or see it as if they were not in it. I am a genuine sucker for these movies, yes you know the ones I am thinking about.  They get me every time.   So if our life were made into a movie about what a difference we made what would it say?

Then another level of reflection.  What is life about anyway? Is there a purpose? Do I have a purpose? Or is it just to function?  Of course as you would imagine in the work I do I believe we all have a purpose. I also believe we are unique in the way we go about it. When you reflect back on your life and celebrate, not only the passing of time, but your contribution, no matter how small, you realise it is not wasted nor lesser than another. Your life is yours. It is your path, your experience and your learning.  

It is a very powerful place to be in to stop and realise how far you really have come in your life.  It is also quite sobering to realise what areas you still can work on.  Yet as a marker in time, a taking stock of now, it gives me a sense of contentment and gratitude.

What also emerges in the wisdom of reflection is the learning and ultimate growth as a person from all experiences not just those judged as ‘good’.  In the midst of challenges we may only see and feel the difficulty, hurt, pain or frustration. The older, wiser retrospective glance back gives us the chance to see the healing, learning and adaptation if we have chosen to do this. For some, and I would say maybe all of us, there will be areas you are still working on.

The dedication to a life day check-in celebration is worthwhile, empowering and adjusting. You get a chance to refocus - letting go and recommitting. You also create an opportunity to see your role and contribution in a bigger life context.