Balanced Decisions - A reflection practice
© Jenn Shallvey
Shared from the recent newsletter - a reflection practice.
Decisions. What is your approach? Usually we are taught to make decisions based on what is presented to us. Many processes, methodologies and techniques abound. Irrespective of approach we choose, we rely a lot on others for both input and sources of information.
A decision can be easy for some and not for others. What may seem like a simple choice can for others be a representation of layers of internal dilemmas. Confusion or distraction may delay us. Time pressures may force us too quickly.
Then there are times when decisions are easy. When we are clear about our values, have a strong sense of self, know what we are doing and why we are here, then decisions almost happen in spite of our selves.
Decision making for me is not just one way. It is a balanced approach that draws from our heads and our hearts. It is about working with all types of knowing - both information and intuitive. It is about discernment, trust and reliability.
A start
Let's use this reflection practice to help you fine tune your personal approach to decision making.
Consider what you feel like when someone else makes a decision for you. When does it feel ok? When does it not? Why?
Consider which decisions are easy for you and which ones are challenging? What do you notice about the differences? Any idea why?
Consider how your own intuition fits into your process. Does it at all? If so how much? If not then why not?
Now you have a current conscious view of your approach. Let's now play with a way to approach that you may wish to incorporate.
Balance the head and the heart
Head: Gather the data, information, other perspectives, input etc. Do this objectively and with an open mind. Discern whether your sources are balanced, trustworthy. Have some boundaries around amount of time you do this part, how much you need to source and where you go to find information. If you have to set a time frame and deadline. Structure and focus. Use a way that works for you to bring this information together so you can reflect on and consider.
Heart: Feel into the decision. Put aside the gathering of data. Close your eyes. Breathe into your heart. Focus on your breath. Sense your decision. Acknowledge that what you need to know is within you. Say to yourself you have all the information you need to make your decision and that it is time to trust. Then in the stillness and quiet of your internal world ask what is best to serve you and others right now. Keep breathing and just let the first answer that comes to you to sit with you.
Work with your answer.
You will get an answer. Then you will notice in you a feeling of relief or not. If you do not feel relief then it is not the right decision. You are either still thinking too much or forcing it. Come back again to it in a different place, state and time. Give yourself permission to be patient and allow.
When you do get an answer that feels right you will know. Then when asked you will be strong, clear and forthright. Of course as our world is always changing you can reserve the right to change your mind if your heart tells you. Likewise as you engage with others your knowing from both head and heart is iterative and evolving.
Check in regularly. Keep staying in tune with your best answer for right now.